30+ of the Freshest and Funniest Tweets of the Week (September 12, 2026)

Author image for JR Atkinson
JR Atkinson • Writer and Editor
Sep 12, 2026 10:00 AM EDT

A platter of tweets for the lady, perhaps?

Presentation is very important. Sometimes, when something doesn't look good, we don't want it, even if there is something good within it. Humans are simple creatures. We can't help it. We like when things are wrapped up in a little bow for our consumption. We're not going to buy a perfume if it has an ugly bottle. After all, it's going to sit on our shelf, and we're gonna have to look at it every day. This is why design and packaging are important. Sometimes it's too important, and we realize that we've been fooled by nice packaging into buying something subpar. This happens to me all the time in the grocery store. I'll buy the olive oil that has the nice label and then realize that it's probably not as good as the one with a simpler label but better quality. We can't blame ourselves for falling for this every now and again. There are whole teams of people working to trick us in this exact way. But presentation is important on the Internet as well. You're not going to spend very much time on a website that has a poor design. You want to spend your time online in places that feel good, not places that challenge you so much that you end up leaving. This is why the tweets list is important. 

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  • 01
    Woey @WoeyJ 9 everyone has a last Connections that they ever try DOGS (THAT ARE DOGS) HUNTING, RESCUE, SAUSAGE, SHEEP DOGS (THAT AREN'T DOGS) CORN, PRAIRIE, SALTY, TOP 11:05 AM 9/2/26 2.1M Views 219 17 2.5K 93K 2.8K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 02
    ethan/ethel h @ulywen girlfriend's dog got groomed today and i can't take him seriously he looks so stupid 9:50 AM 9/5/26 1.1M Views •
    via TwitterLitter
  • 03
    Roony @Roonysters I wish my parents could have added some nepo to the tism they gave me 12:00 PM 9/3/26 1.3M Views . 48 12K 123K ☐ 3.4K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 04
    O Gabzilla @gimmbie13 He's like my own personal remy the rat except he does nothing 7:46 PM 9/3/26 197K Views 19 17832 26K ☐ 508 ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 05
    blehh @pupzypup bird 1: are we safe? bird 2: yeah he only has one stone 4:58 PM 9/3/26 1.4M Views . • D 119 12K 129K
    via TwitterLitter

  • We've done all the hard work for you and scraped through the Internet to find some of the best tweets that this week had to offer. We've put them all here for you, all wrapped up and served on a silver platter. Because we know that's the way you want to consume them. You don't wanna work too hard to find the good stuff. You want the good stuff to reveal itself instantly. This tweet list is exactly that for you. So if you're in the mood to scroll through something beautifully put together, then look no further. These tweets are here to do just that for you. So keep scrolling, enjoy them, and take them with you when you go. 

  • 06
    joe @spinningjoe [joe rogan] so you're saying you've never been fed? [domestic cat that was fed thirty minutes ago] that's right joe. i've never been fed in my entire whole life [joe rogan] wow 4:31 AM 8/30/26 1.7M Views . 114 17 9.7K 137K ☐ 5.2K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 07
    H @Ifeanyi Emm34386 Taking one last look at my manager before emailing my 2 weeks notice GIF 1:52 AM - 9/1/26 · 2.4M Views 8 17304 6.2K ☐ 458 ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 08
    bert @airpippens letting him have a beer #friyay #whatthehell #sure flu and it asn't the HING 4:51 PM 8/28/26 1.3M Views
    via TwitterLitter
  • 09
    Ethan W. Anderson @Ethan_is_online Guy on a zoom call next to me in the airport "I left the office two hours ago, did you somehow manage to get a lobotomy in that time period" 3:20 PM 9/3/26 682K Views 36 17 808 30K 1.1K
    via TwitterLitter
  • 10
    Liquet SOON San Japan @EternalLiquet I rolled up to the drive thru and the lady that came to take my order just about fell over laughing as soon as she saw my mode of transportation mf was on sight 1:36 PM 9/2/26.1M Views 163 13K Sadistic 61K 5.4K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 11
    horse dentist ✪ @equine_dentist the state fair goes so hard Susan Du Robbinsdale, MN Flat Surface Arrangement Class 7 Amateur 533 114 6:01 PM 9/3/26 123K Views
    via TwitterLitter
  • 12
    Eric Adams @ericadamsfornyc Hold on a second. Don't you all party all night on your birthday? NEW YORK POST New York Post @nypost. 9h Ex-mayor Eric Adams seeing doing 'walk of shame' in same shirt the morning after his birthday party trib.al/bysTlvB Tuesday 10:30 PM 5:04 PM 9/2/26 1.3M Views • 585 1.2K Wednesday 8:00 AM 23K 617
    via TwitterLitter
  • 13
    Grace ✔ @mhdgrace I may regret this 6:32 PM 8/28/26 - 12M Views
    via TwitterLitter
  • 14
    Boston Matt @Mattman34 Go to Costco, get yourself a 4 lb bag of cosmic crisp apples. Then get yourself a 2.7 year old who will take a bite out of each one when you're not looking and throw them all behind the couch. 3:50 PM 9/2/26 487K Views 512 1673 22K 568 ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 15
    JT @Jaberuski Hold your loved ones close tonight Polymarket @Polymarket. 1d JUST IN: Biohacker Bryan Johnson reveals a cafe "mistakenly" served him fully caffeinated coffee instead of decaf, causing a detrimental impact on his sleep score. DON'T DI 8:39 AM 9/1/26 793K Views → 74 1891 42K ☐ 475 ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 16
    Fat Slag @Andrewisliv111d Dolly just visited me I'm shaking 1:27 PM 8/26/26.5.2M Views
    via TwitterLitter
  • 17
    El Guarromántico ❤ @Guarromantico_ Translated from Spanish by Grok Friends, you're not going to believe this. Rate this translation: B ū 10 5:50 PM 8/27/26 583K Views • 36 17777 9.1K ☐ 355 ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 18
    Medical Mewtwo @MedicalMewtwo For my fellow doctors, lets all review our ABCs 8. Also remember the "ABC" rule of first aid: A Bone Coming out through the skin is very bad. meeka @Meeky Blinders - 2d been at the ER with a bone protruding from my body for the last 4 hours AMA 9:20 PM 8/22/26 1.8M Views • 49 1 6.9K 155K 3.2K ↑,
    via TwitterLitter
  • 19
    CLAIRE @iluvgeckoz im gonna be honest, I had no clue she had a last name FERAN @Ffeeran. 1d Zendaya Coleman outfit at the premier of DUNE 11:13 PM 9/4/26 2.2M Views 274 12.4K 72K ☐ 2.1K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 20
    john @john_wilddog we're about to see levels of violence not seen since the PS3 came out NEWS Reselling News @resellingnews. 1d Starbucks x Peanuts is coming Dropping September 15, the limited edition collection celebrates the 60th anniversary of It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown.... PEANUTS + STARBUCKS PUNUS STARBUCKS • 11:35 PM 9/4/26 644K Views 30 1 1.7K THE GREAT PPKIN IS COWING! PEAMIS STARBUCKS 23K 1K
    via TwitterLitter
  • 21
    BALEDANGO @baledango Translated from Japanese by Grok An account featuring husbands waiting while their wives shop at Hermès husbands at hermes Rate this translation: B husbandsathermes S = husbandsathermes 2/2 . 5:23 AM 9/5/26 6.4M Views 64 12.3K BELELY 53K 3.9K 企
    via TwitterLitter
  • 22
    hop! @caitvisthird needed to call a patient named joy today so in my voicemail i had to say 'hi joy, its hope calling' GIF COMMES 5:56 AM 9/3/26 8.3M Views 222 15K 335K ☐ 9.8K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 23
    hannah → @knackered4lyfe my doordasher flexed his watch and Porsche in the picture of him picking up my food Heading to you On time Arriving in 2 mins Your Dasher is heading to you with your order. Order picked up Your dasher is heading your way with your order Naresh Add tip Order details + Add items 7:57 PM 9/4/26.7M Views 204 17 2.6K M W McDelivery 1E6E1E88 M McDelivery Available in the MoD ap 92K 3.3K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 24
    1 i like food @messedupfoods 3 × Chik'n Nuggets (v) $27.00 1 × White Pie $30.00 Instructions: It's my birthday and not even my family called me. I'm sad and I really like olives. Please put on as many black olives as you can. I want you to put on so many black olives that you start to question mine and your own sanity. As much as you can include without being fired. Thank you Minced Garlic •Black Olive • Vegan Ranch X Upgrade to -Make Vegan- available for all items $0.00 2 x Pepsi $4.00 Include
    via TwitterLitter
  • 25
    OPENTOWORK ein ❤ @stylishdawg it's insane how bad recruiters are at their jobs. you can search for a specific role at a huge company and there'll be O results. then you DM your friend who works there and he's like "yeah we've actually been trying to find (role) for 7 years now. market is just so bad :/" Last edited 1:50 PM - 8/31/26 542K Views 107 1919 44K ☐ 1.1K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 26
    Mr.Elevation @MrElevationn cannot cook I done put the grits in my pocket help me yall 1:58 PM 9/2/26-712K Views
    via TwitterLitter
  • 27
    ARE U HEALED OR JUST TRYING NOT TO THINK ABOUT IT? Wholesome Side of X ❤ @itsme_urstruly I love when a dog sighs like he's carrying the whole family financially. Sir, you ate a leaf today and napped. 2:21 PM 9/3/26 483K Views 48 1927 19K 606
    via TwitterLitter
  • 28
    celine dionysus / NEW COLLA @celinedionysus_ learning a lot glet Steve Lacy oh yeah? E Day 11 of eating ONLY food that Jesus had in Biblical times: I (For health and spiritual reasons) Follow R || 6:30 PM 8/30/26 11M Views 583 1 33K jagglet Suggested for you Follow = Bread 487K ☐ 21K ↑ 2/10
    via TwitterLitter
  • 29
    BugDollie @bimbbie my little sister just took an adhd assessment n had to call me in the middle of it for help....bc she didnt know what to do...... bc ... she skipped the directions.. bc she didnt want to read them... GIF ALT 3:39 PM 8/28/26 1.5M Views
    via TwitterLitter
  • 30
    OG Riley @28th Riley Scientifically this may be the rebirth of bernie mac Paranoid @iluvuui. 1d Eddie Murphy's son and Martin Lawrence's daughter are married. 8 10:10 AM 9/3/26 1.5M Views 160 17 5.9K E 71K ☐ 2K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 31
    Zachi @iam_zachi Found an exploit in an app 2 month ago. They didn't get back to me. So I wrote them again. From their own email. From: no-reply@betterapplab.com > To: support@betterapptech.com > Cc: me@zachi.dev Today at 02:19 YOUR APP IS LEAKING Hi, I don't know if you don't believe me or if you're not seeing my emails, but your app is as full of holes as Swiss cheese. I'M WRITING TO YOU RIGHT NOW FROM YOUR OWN EMAIL. Get back to me. My email is in the cc.
    via TwitterLitter
  • 32
    ➜ czarnian juggalo rob zombie @shinygirl404 my brother and i were watching chopped last night and there was an episode where a guy got super overwhelmed and only plated this 1116/42:01 Chopped-S2E7 10:23 AM 9/4/26 1.2M Views • ○ 72 17 3.2K 77K 3.2K ↑
    via TwitterLitter
  • 33
    bribri @bribri_tweets sometimes my partner will ask me how to say something in japanese like "what's the word for pink. and dont say pinku" and 9 times outta 10 i gotta hit her with the GIF 3:23 PM 9/4/26 3.4M Views 144 177.1K 211K 9.5K ↑
    via TwitterLitter

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